Changes, Changes… and I\'m Freaking Out






Today, I helped one of my best friends, Olivia move into her dorm. It was fun; it was exciting; it was stressful; it was how almost anyone could ever describe it, including bittersweet. Our childhoods are officially over, time is continuing and there\’s nothing to do to stop it. After finishing in her dorm, I went to Urban Outfitters (to buy new clothes for my college adventure.. duh) and Krispy Kreme before driving home, knowing that the next time I\’ll see my friend in person will probably be Christmas.
On the outside I showed all the right emotions, I kept a calm attitude, I didn\’t cry when saying good-bye, I was polite to the store clerks, and expressed anger at the other drivers on the road home only when it was necessary, but on the inside I AM FREAKING OUT. The whole time I was in the dorm, I was taking note of what I still need to get for my room, of the little things that are easily forgotten, and once I left my mind continued to race.
\”I still need to talk to my roommate about ____.\”\”I need to run to Target to grab ____.\” \”Liv said they got this, there.\” \”I need to find the best way to use the small space\”\”I need to talk to my roommate about room arrangements.\”\”Do I really want to loft my bed?\” \”If I don\’t loft my bed, how might I arrange my furniture?\” \”I still need to pack for the wedding.\” \”Should I start packing my college stuff now?\” \”I really need to decide how I\’m going to organize my make-up.\”
The list goes on and on in my head, and I\’m so ready to move in just so my anxiety will fade. It\’s hard to really even call it anxiety because it\’s not the normal kind of anxiety I\’ve had for years now. It\’s anticipation and excitement and anxiety, and it\’s all so overwhelming that I\’m ready for these two weeks to pass as quickly as the others have.
In direct contrast to that, there\’s an anxiety about all of this changing so quickly. I\’m a baby bird about to fly for the first time, and despite my excitement to spread my wings, I\’m scared. I really am, which is why I\’m clinging to these next two weeks. I\’m ordering things without a lot of worry that they won\’t come in in time. I\’m spending time with my mom. I\’m enjoying these last moments of freedom before my life goes back to a regular schedule. It\’s nice; in some unnatural way, it\’s almost peaceful.
Change is such a hard thing. Some of it\’s easier to embrace, but we all take it so differently. And I think in this moment before The Change, my mind is really unsure what to think, but I\’ll catch up eventually.
As far as this outfit and these photos are concerned, these were taken in New York this past January. My friend Ashlyn and I decided to have a mini photo shoot and I realized that I never shared a single photo from that trip. Given that I\’m longing for a change in weather (it\’s been far to hot lately), I felt it was acceptable to post an outfit from one of my Winter days.
Much Love,
Jaquelyn
Outfit Details:
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