Learning as I Go

Outfit Details:

Checkered Dress: Thrifted 

Shoes: Black Sandals from Shoe Station

I think there are some things in this world that we must learn for ourselves. We can hear from anyone else, but we must experience it and come to that conclusion on our own.

With my senior year coming up and so many other changes pressing the gates, I\’ve been so concerned about my future. While the future in itself isn\’t something I can change or worry about, it hard not to think about it when I\’m constantly being asked about where I plan to go to school and what I plan on doing with my life. To answer those questions, I haven\’t figured that out yet. I don\’t have a solid plan and that kills the inner-organizer within me.

One of options involves moving away from home and/or going to an out-of-state school. And while I\’ve been itching to get away from my family, my love for them keeps pulling at my heart and nerves. In other words, I\’m incredibly nervous/worried/afraid of moving away from the people I\’ve shared a house with for the past 17 years. On the other hand, I\’ve never really liked where I currently live and know I\’ll one day move away anyway. While that previous statement should calm my fears, this town and the people in it seem to stay/always come back. Part of that is that it\’s where they feel at home. Regardless, I don\’t want to be one of those people \”stuck\” here (for lack of a better word). I mean either way I will move out one day, it just depends on how soon I choose to make the move.

My uncle, in attempt to steer me toward in-state schools, told me I should go to school where I plan to live. But the problem is that schools in New York are SOOO expensive. Almost any out-of-state school would be closer to New York/D.C./New England than an in-state school in Louisiana. I\’ve been arguing with myself about this stuff for months. I\’ve quite actually been driving myself insane.

So after all these months and arguments, I finally watched Moana. I\’ve been dying to watch this movie when it came out, but never really got around to it. I\’ve heard so many of the songs from the kids I babysit and I sort of knew the story because of social media and such. But once I heard \”How Far I\’ll Go\” and how it was placed in the story, it all clicked. It clicked so well that I was holding back tears. Taking a risk was the lesson I had to learn for myself. Even though my family would love for me to stay here with them, I have to let myself be free so I can see how far I\’ll go and what I can do outside the condensing walls of the city. In applying my life directly to the Moana song, I\’ve always been drawn to the North East and have always felt a connection to it before I even stepped foot in that area of the country. With every minute I spend there, I crave 5 more. I can\’t let my fears and the possible disappointment of my family hold me back.

Now depending on who you are, you maybe praising the Lord that one more person in the world has got it figured out, or you may be skeptical or disagree with what I\’ve concluded. Regardless, I wish you well and I hope you have successes in figuring out humanity and life.

Much Love,

Jac